freedom from smoke rings

The world health organization had estimated that there were around 94 million smokers in India in 2007. Surely the numbers have risen this year (it’s estimated to be around 120 million), engulfing the lives of not just the smokers but also the non-smokers (it’s said that passive smoking is as injurious as active smoking). According to a recent study, India’s death toll due to tobacco smoking will be around 1 million people per year, by the year 2010. This horrendous habit kills not only from diseases like cancer and lung diseases but also from tuberculosis and heart attacks. In order to discourage people from endangering their lives for a temporary high or relaxation, the government will introduce a no smoking policy to be effective from October 2, 2008.

"From October 2, the government would introduce the no smoking policy in all indoor establishments," Union Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss told reporters in Bangalore on Tuesday. "Smoking will not be permitted in any private or public building. Companies can no longer have designated smoking rooms. Smokers will have to step outside into open space if they wish to smoke," said Ramadoss who has been in the forefront in pushing for the ban on tobacco and tobacco products.

The rule applies to all companies, including IT companies, small cafes, restaurants, pubs or discotheques. Hotels having more than 30 seat arrangement would have to create a separate enclosure for smokers and a separate ventilation arrangement as per the act, he said.
I personally feel that it’s a very positive step in the pursuit of building a healthier and cleaner India. Even though the ill effects of smoking are well known even to chain smokers, but the ready availability of space to have a puff doesn’t give them chance to think twice before plunging into the whirlpool of this slow destruction. I’m confident that this policy will restrict a lot of casual smokers and only those who just cannot resist the urge to have a puff will come out on the streets. Hopefully factors like going out on the street, finding the company of a compulsive smoker, wastage of time etc will dampen the spirits of even chain smokers in some time.

Smoking is registering a steady decline in western countries as the non-smoking policies are becoming stricter and the general awareness about the dangerous after-effects of smoking is increasing amongst people. Unfortunately, India didn’t seem to ape the west in this regard till now with the percentage of smokers increasing every year in India. Let’s all hope that laws like the one being imposed from October 2 will help in bringing about a drastic change in the present scenario.

Sacrifises of a working mother

I owe a lot to my mother as far as my upbringing is concerned. As far as I can go down the memory lane, I remember my mother being besides me, always. She was there to bundle me up in her arms when I came back from school, she was there to make sure I ate adequate and nutritious meals, she was there to listen to all my woes (be it school, college, marriage), she was there to cast away all my fears and apprehensions, she was there to help me make tough decisions of life. In a nutshell, she was there whenever and wherever I needed her. I personally think that it was possible primarily because she had time for her children. And that was possible because she was a housewife. But at the same time, I wonder if she sacrificed much more than she had to. She is an educated and smart female who could have made her mark in any field she ventured into. But she chose to utilize her intelligence and exuberance in shaping her children’s life, in the confines of her home.

It’s a sour truth of life that if you want to raise your children efficiently, you have to let go of your career ambitions for some time. You cannot expect to climb the ladder of professional success and take care of your children at the same time. I have so many friends who had to either switch jobs or job profiles or be content with a less grueling designation in order to be able to devote more time to their kids.

Researches show a devastating impact that working parents have on their children who hardly get to see their parents. With less than 20 minutes spent with their parents every day, this is only enough time to eat a quick breakfast together or have a couple of bed-time stories. The time a working couple spends with their children daily, is barely enough to develop any emotional bonding between them. How can you expect your child to nurture good values, morals and principles when there is no one to teach these things to them? It’s said that a child’s mind is like wet clay, you can mould it anyway you like. Childhood is the time when you can make or mar his development. It’s very important to provide emotional, physical and social security to a child so that he or she can grow up to be a confident, smart and intelligent individual. Unfortunately, the onus of good upbringing of a child falls entirely on a female. With changing times, growing need for personal space, development and independence and plethora of opportunities available, how many females are satisfied with this option? Does raising kids always require creative and vocational scarifies from females? Shouldn’t it be the responsible of both the parents to mutually decide on a course of action?

I personally think that the male should give full support to the female in helping her fulfill both her duties, that of a mother as well as of a professional. Just imagine what good a depressed mother would do for a child in contrast to being an active and creative guardian. Nowadays there are numerous part time job options available which can help females work from home. This helps them to be with their child as well as prevents rusting of their creative personality.

The sabbatical from career to raise a child does not necessarily have to cost a female her confidence, growth and independence. A child completes a woman by imbibing more love and affection in her. The journey from womanhood to motherhood can be made more beautiful if a woman is encouraged to bolster her creative potential along with her other responsibilities.

Pro's and Con's of distance learning

When I graduated from my engineering college, I had a strong desire to pursue further studies like a management degree. But immediately after my college got over, I got a job offer from a leading IT company. I was in a dilemma since both the paths were alluring. I discussed my situation with some friends and they suggested that I should do a distance learning course from a renowned institution. According to them, this would not hinder my job prospects and at the same time allow me to fulfill my aspiration of MBA. The idea was very appealing and I applied to Symbiosis school of management. Unfortunately, I could not complete my course and had to drop out of it mid-way. The mounting pressure of a new job (that too of a software engineer) and the heaps of weekly assignments was taking toll both on my performance at work and my health. So personally distance learning didn’t prove fruitful for me. But this does not mean that it is not a good option for working people. As every coin has two sides, even distance learning has its pros and cons.

Advantages:

It does not require commuting: You can save on a lot of time, money and energy by cutting down on travel. The time saved can be judiciously used for personal and professional life.

You can work at your own convenience: Since all the classes are asynchronous, you have the liberty to review your assignments or do your homework during off-hours or at home.
You have the freedom of living anywhere you like: All you might require is an internet connection or a computer, and you can do your correspondence course from anywhere in the world. This provides a lot of flexibility to professionals, especially if they have a travelling job.

It’s a self paced learning: Not everyone is born a genius. Some of us might take longer to grasp some concepts as compared to others. In case of distance learning you have the advantage of learning and understanding at your own pace. This reduces unnecessary stress and increases satisfaction.

It’s easily accessible to all: Online classes address physical accessibility issues that some people with limited mobility encounter when taking traditional classes. You don’t have to worry about gaining access to a classroom or sitting on uncomfortable desks. Instead, you can use your comfortable furniture in your home while enjoying free movement and a chance to further your education.

Disadvantages:

You have to juggle between job and studies: Distance learning is only fruitful if you can manage both your job and studies with equal sincerity. You have to put in a lot of efforts at both fronts. If you falter at ant one front, it is bound to have negative repercussions.

It does not offer immediate feedback: In a traditional classroom setting, your performance can be immediately assessed through questions and informal testing. With distance learning, you have to wait for feedback until the instructor has reviewed their work and responded to it.

It may not be acknowledged by all employers: Till now, all leading companies show preference for candidates who have done a regular course. The job prospects might not be as bright with a correspondence course as otherwise. You might even have to compromise on the pay-package in some situations.

It doesn’t help in building oral communication skills: You do not get the opportunity to interact with teachers and other students on a personal basis. This inhibits the building of verbal skills which is an essential trait when you go for interviews.

It leads to social isolation: Most often you'll be studying alone. Distance learners may feel isolated or miss that social physical interaction that comes with attending a traditional classroom. However this impersonality has been lessening with advances and use of communication technologies such as bulletin boards, threaded discussions, chats, email and conferencing.

Common Fashion Mistakes

Fashion, if taken in the positive sense can stand for glamour, beauty and style. But if taken in the negative sense, it can be a synonym of fads and trends (the bandwagon effect) and materialism. We all like to look sensational and smart, but are we being cautious enough not to overdo it? The answer to this question is not always affirmative. We come across numerous examples of people (especially females) who go overboard in their pursuit of looking “fashionable”.

Here are a few tips to avoid common fashion mistakes:

1. Wear clothes of right size: wearing small and skimpy clothes generally makes one look vulgar rather than appealing, as it highlights all the bulges of the body. On the other hand, wearing baggy outfits makes one look fatter and shabby. So try and find the right sized clothes for yourself, instead of experimenting with bigger or smaller sizes.

2. Don’t wear wrinkled garments: Just imagine how you would react if you see a person wearing a wrinkled dress in a party. An ironed and wrinkle free outfit is always appreciated by everyone as it gives a perception of a neat and clean personality.

3. Don’t try to dodge your age: Dress according to your age. Make-up might hide some wrinkles of an aging face, but a wrong dress would not be able to hide a sagging older body. On the contrary, dressing according to your age would reflect maturity and elegance. Always remember that there are numerous fashions and styles and there is one to suit you – You don’t have to follow every fashion because you have seen a celebrity wear it or seen it in a fashion show.

4. Avoid too many colors: Everyone cannot look good in the “Govinda style “of clothes. A maximum of three colors is soothing to the eyes. Anything more than that might make you look messy and foolish.

5. Use accessories wisely: If chosen and worn properly, accessories can be used to enhance ones good points and hide his or her flaws. For example: avoid wearing a short chain or a choker if you don’t want to draw attention towards your neck as these accessories will make your neck look longer. Don’t carry a big bag with an evening gown as it just does not go with that attire. Remember sometimes even less is more so use the accessories carefully and help them add to your charm.

6. Chose your shoes to match your outfit: As a general rule the clothes and shoes should be of same color. Black is an exception as it goes with everything.

We all try to ape our favorite film star or the most popular person in school or college, but we have to be careful that this fashion faux pas doesn’t make us feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It’s important to keep in mind the occasion for which you are dressing up. It’s important to know when to carry a sporty look and when to look more feminine. Having the right kind of hairstyle, wearing make-up in accordance to your complexion, wearing the right kind of undergarments and perfume would definitely turn heads in your direction. Always remember that the mantra is to look ‘sexy’ and not tacky.

Father's name still the only source of identity

I recently read an article in a newspaper which highlighted the difference in the legal gender equality in India. A 19-year old girl was denied a passport because she refused to write her biological father's name on the application form. The man had not communicated with his daughter since the day she was born and the girl thought it justified to leave his name out. Even though her mother raised her and the girl still lives with her, the courts said she can be granted a passport only if she lists her foster father as her father and fills in the application form accordingly.

This case emphasizes the still prevalent “patriarchal society” norms in India. Nirja Gopal, professor of women studies at Delhi University, says this case is hardly surprising. She says the importance of the father's name is well-established. "It is a form of identification. How else do you know one Sunita Kumari from another? But that's certainly not a justification for making father's name mandatory for an identity document; why not the mother's name?"

Student Rajiv Chowdhury was raised by a single mother and insists that "it makes no sense to put in my father's name and have the family as the only identifier even when he is practically absent from my life for all purposes".

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end with just the father’s name being mandatory on a passport application. You need it for practically everything, including applying for a PAN card (to pay one's tax), a mutual fund, a bank account or even admission to professional bodies such as the Indian Institute of Chartered accountants or the Indian Actuaries Institute. This underlines the reluctance of our society to recognize the pivotal role a women plays in her child’s life. It is the woman who gives birth to her child. How and why should she be totally shadowed by the male in being accepted as the legal guardian of her son or daughter? What if you don’t want to put in your father’s name as your identity? Should you be denied all official documents? Shouldn’t the mother’s name be enough to support her child’s legal formalities?

In 1999, the Supreme Court ruled that a mother can act as natural guardian of a minor child even if its father were alive. This incredible judgment was handed down in response to writer Geeta Hariharan's plea for justice because the Reserve Bank of India had refused to accept her signature on an application to open relief bonds for her minor son. Though such laws exist, our society is still ignorant of their subsistence. Women are still living in oblivion with men enjoying all the power in providing any form of identity for their child.

Though mother’s role is rendered invisible in a child’s life, there is still some hope left. With more and more awareness being generated, changes are being incorporated in many systems to strengthen a women’s role in her child’s life. The Central Board of Secondary Education made it optional for students to use father or mother's name to identify themselves; many banks forms seek to ascertain only the mother's name and many school and college application forms are willing to accept either parent's name.

The process may be slow but I think we are on the right path of granting more recognition to a women. I just hope it doesn’t take too long for girls and boys like Rajiv to be able to exercise their right to access any kind of official document with just their mother’s name on it as their guardian. If a woman can be given recognition in other fields of activities, she should definitely be given equal, if not more, legal rights in her child’s life.

Reading - a good habit

I’m indebted to my mother to have inculcated a great habit like reading in me. I still remember how she used to just gift books for the special occasions like birthdays and Diwali. Slowly her perseverance of this trend became a passion for me. This habit grew stronger as I grew up. I started working and the mounting pressure of work kept me away from reading for long spans of time. But whenever I got some pockets of idleness in between projects, reading always came to my rescue. It never let me be unoccupied. Besides just keeping me engrossed, reading helped me improve my vocabulary and general awareness about the world, introduced me to the different cultures around the globe, kept the motor of my brain working and imbibed a certain level of discipline in my life.

Reading is one of the best hobbies a person can have. But it’s saddening to know that majority of us aren’t introduced to the fabulous world of books. If you are one of the non-book readers who feels you “don’t need no stinking books”, here are some reasons to start the habit…before you are left behind!

1. Reading is an active mental process: Unlike sitting in front of the idiot box (TV), reading makes you use your brain. While reading you would be forced to reason out many things which are unfamiliar to you. In this process you would use the grey cells of your brain to think and become smarter.

2. Reading improves your vocabulary: Remember in elementary school when you learned how to infer the meaning of one word by reading the context of the other words in the sentence? You get the same benefit from book reading. While reading books, especially challenging ones, you will find yourself exposed to many new words you wouldn’t be otherwise.

3. Gives you a glimpse into other cultures and places of the world: How would you know about the life of people in Mexico if you don’t read about it? Reading gives you an insight into the diversity of ethnicity of people, their customs, their lifestyles etc. You become more aware about the different places and the code of conduct in those places.

4. Improves concentration and focus - It requires you to focus on what you are reading for long periods. Unlike magazines, Internet posts or e-Mails that might contain small chunks of information, books tell the whole story. Since you must concentrate in order to read, like a muscle, you will get better at concentration.

5. Builds self-esteem: The more you read, the more knowledgeable you become. With more knowledge comes more confidence. More confidence builds self-esteem. So it’s a chain reaction. Since you are so well read, people look to you for answers. Your feelings about yourself can only get better.

6. Improves memory: Many studies show if you don’t use your memory, you lose it. Crossword puzzles are an example of a word game that staves off Alzheimer’s. Reading, although not a game, helps you stretch your memory muscles in a similar way. Reading requires remembering details, facts and figures and in literature, plot lines, themes and characters.

7. Improves your discipline: Making time to read is something we all know we should do, but who schedules book reading time every day? Very few… That’s why adding book reading to your daily schedule and sticking to it, improves discipline.

8. Improves creativity: Reading about diversity of life and exposing yourself to new ideas and more information helps to develop the creative side of the brain as it imbibes innovation into your thinking process.

9. You always have something to talk about: Have you ever found yourself in an embarrassing situation where you didn’t have anything to talk about? Did you hate yourself for making a fool of yourself? Do you want a remedy for this? It’s simple. Start reading. Reading widens your horizon of information. You’ll always have something to talk about. You can discuss various plots in the novels you read, you can discuss the stuff you are learning in the business books you are reading as well. The possibilities of sharing become endless.

10. Reduces boredom: One of the rules I have is if I am feeling bored, I will pick up a book and start reading. What I’ve found by sticking to this is that I become interested in the book’s subject and stop being bored. I mean, if you’re bored anyway, you might as well be reading a good book, right?

If you want to break the monotony of a lazy, uncreative and boring life, go and grab an interesting book. Turn the pages to explore a new world filled with information and ingenuity.

Rain Rain go away..................

My husband generally comes home by 7.30 P.M. every day. But yesterday I didn’t hear the door bell ring till after 9.00 P.M. I greeted him with a snarl instead of a smile. But after my initial, unreasonable outburst I calmed down because it was actually not his fault. According to the metrological department, Delhi had received its highest rainfall for a single day this month on Wednesday. Till 8.30 P.M. yesterday, the city saw 58.8 mm of rainfall. Though the rain brought respite from the humid conditions, it also lead to massive traffic jams and waterlogged streets at several places in the capital. Due to the downtrodden condition of the roads, almost all roads get waterlogged in rains. This results in breaking down of several cars, causing further jams.

My husband told me that traffic signals had stopped working at several major intersections. Officials said that the signals were sensitive to moisture and sometimes got switched off due to heavy rain. Imagine the chaos on the roads when the visibility is already poor, the roads are in pitiable condition and there are no traffic signals to maneuver the traffic.

In retrospection of my days in Chicago, I can’t think of one rainy day (or for that matter one snowy day) when I had to face a situation like this, in spite of the fact that Chicago experiences more adverse weather conditions than Delhi. There, the temperatures dropped to even -30 degrees centigrade, but the roads were made drivable within minutes or hours of snowfall. There were cranes and heavy trucks patrolling throughout the time it snowed, to remove snow from the roads. And rains had never been an issue of concern as far as driving on the roads was concerned. The roads were never waterlogged, traffic signals never broke down (just because of moisture) and it had never taken us 2 hours to cover a distance of 2 km.

Just analyze the vicious circle we are in. Our mobility and activities are restricted when the sun blazes with full flurry. We pray for some respite from the hot and humid conditions. And when God answers our prayers with rain, we are struck again. The thermometer might show a drop in some degrees but the mayhem in our lives and growling of people continues……

What is our government doing to improve this condition? When will it stop waiting for the temporary patches of brick and sand (that it puts to cover the potholes) to erode with the rain water, so that it can repeat the process again? Why isn’t the budget allotted to the construction of proper roads used for the right purpose? When can we start to even dream about enjoying a long drive on a smooth road when it rains?

Gurgaon in chaos

The moment you enter Gurgaon, you feel you have entered a different world all together. The skyline is bedecked with smart glass buildings which would enthrall you the instant you set your eyes on them. The industry here is growing at the rate of 40 per cent as against the national growth rate of 28 per cent. Gurgaon has turned into a major IT and BPO hub in recent years. High-tech and high value projects involving foreign collaboration with huge investments have come up in the area. The annual turnover in the industrial sector in the district has crossed Rs 73,500 crore, with an investment of more than Rs 18,000 crore. The city today has 475 units of large and medium scale industries, involving an investment of Rs 13,138 crore. These units provide employment to 1,76,861 people. The number of Small Scale industrial units are around 10,000 with an investment of Rs 4,867 crore and an employment capacity of 1,74,700.

But I wonder if the phrase “Millennium City” or “India’s Singapore” is a misnomer for Gurgaon. If you look beyond the glitz of the high-rises, you would notice the absence of sewer lines, the trauma of commuting on bad roads and the lack of infrastructure. Though Gurgaon has emerged as the economic capital of North India, it has not been able to keep pace with its rapid growth. There is acute water and power crisis in summers. It becomes an ordeal to commute during rains as not only are the roads flooded and blocked but the houses are also submerged in the dirty mud water. This house of commerce provides shelter to about 18 to 20 lakh people. But the real question is whether it’s feasible to live amidst such infrastructural chaos.

This time the city is hit majorly by the deadly disease of Dengue. Already, there have been 554 cases of Dengue reported along with 3 deaths. In comparison, there have been 274 dengue cases and one death in all of Delhi. The road near Malibu Towne and Mehfil Garden in Sector 47, where sewer water from houses flows onto the road, is a typical example of the conditions that are helping mosquitoes breed. Residents and businessmen have been complaining about the 1km-long stretch of stagnant water, but no steps have been taken.

"We are compelled to live in life-threatening conditions with the fear of dengue hanging over our heads. When it rains, we have to wade through knee-deep water to go past the stretch," rued Ram Kishan who runs a taxi stand near Malibu Towne.

Alarmingly, as many as 263 cases have been reported from Gurgaon's urban areas and posh colonies. Inspections carried out by officials from the National Vector Borne Diseases Control Programme and the National Institute of Communicable Diseases reported the breeding rate of Aedes mosquito (that carries the dengue virus) was alarmingly high in Gurgaon - sometimes 40% of the houses inspected were found to be breeding sites.

Gurgaon reputation as a symbol of urbanization and economical boom has already been tarnished by civic woes. It’s high time that the government took some serious action to prevent any further deterioration or else it won’t be long before we would witness empty and rotting pillars of concrete standing to get depleted.

India- Dumpground for international waste

You must have heard of garments, oil, and food items being exported to India but have you heard of waste being shipped to our country? Yes, that’s true. No matter how shocking this might sound, it’s a reality. Household waste collected weekly across Britain for recycling is being shipped and dumped in India, according to an investigation by ITVs 'Tonight programme'. Nowadays, the manufacturing, consumption and disposal of goods are geographically separated like never before. Production takes place in one country; products are consumed in another, and disposed in a third.

UK council has asked all the households to carefully separate waste into different categories: plastics, metal, paper and glass so that they all can be recycled. This has been done in their effort to “go green” and improve the environment. European Union law bans sending waste abroad for dumping but allows it to go overseas if it has already been separated and recycled, according to the Sunday Mirror. But the tragedy is that the waste is being dumped into India without being recycled. Unfortunately, a relatively poor country like India is a cost effective target for more developed nations. It costs up to 148 pounds to recycle a ton of rubbish once it is separated but only 40 pounds to ship it to India.

ITV’s Tonight programme found British waste, including children’s report cards and a St George’s flag, buried in farmland wells near the migration path of wild elephants in the state of Tamil Nadu. The rubbish also included bags of Walkers crisps, Sainsbury’s apple juice, Tesco packaging, plastic bags from Mothercare and newspapers. Mail was addressed to residents living in the local authority areas of Tendring, Wellingborough and Wakefield district councils and Leicestershire county Council. All UK councils are required to recycle. But after householders separate their rubbish and bin workers collect it, councils pass it on to waste firms, who in turn use subcontractors. They are under no obligation to reveal what they actually do with it. The situation is grim because many of these products are toxic and chemical laden, including PVC plastic containers, metal cans with toxic paints, multi-layered packaging, batteries and even genetically modified foods, all of which produce waste that can be hazardous. It’s easier for the developed countries to make countries like India their dumpsters because environment and health issues are still not very high on the agenda in South Asia. In any case, even if there is a consciousness or laws that address such problems, regulation is weak and expensive. Also, underdeveloped countries of South Asia are technologically challenged. As south Asian countries are relatively poor countries, they are unable to afford expensive and stringent standards for recycling.

Nowadays, the export of electronic waste is on a rise. Used electronics such as computers, mobile phones, and telephones are being dumped in China and India, mainly due to obsolescence. The United States alone exports more than 10 million tons annually. The waste from these products contains toxic heavy metals such as cadmium, lead in computer monitors, mercury in lamps and chips, and flame-retardants in plastics. Research by Toxics Link shows that this high-tech waste is recycled in very unhealthy conditions in New Delhi. The outcome of such a hideous act is that the workers have to bear the brunt of occupational and industrial risks of working in unprotected and shanty conditions. Majority of such workers include women and children and people with very low nutritional status, making them vulnerable even to very low-level exposures. Health surveys have shown that recyclers regularly suffered from complaints such as respiratory diseases and skin rashes.A computer may be manufactured in Asia, used in North America and disposed in India. Electronic waste is labeled as second-hand computers, ostensibly to help schools and villages run education programs. Their health is bargained on pretext of education. The rich buy new computers, while older models find their way into the hands of more deprived consumers. The waste is then dumped onto the poorer communities, which shoulder the greatest burden of the impact of globalization.

Translocation to the South enables cost cutting all around, although the burden of waste is borne by local peoples and their environment. The poorer countries are becoming dirtier as the rich ones become cleaner. This disaster must stop before it wipes out our nation completely.

Dharavi

Mumbai is a land of dreams. And who says that only rich can dream? The poor who desire to earn a livelihood in the dreamland throng the city in abundance every day. But the sky scrapers bedecking the skyline of Mumbai cannot be home for everyone. So, in a city where house rents are among the highest in the world, Dharavi provides a cheap and affordable option. Dharavi, in central Mumbai (Bombay), is home to up to a million people and is notoriously known as Asia’s biggest slum (as many as 18,000 people crowd into a single acre). Rents here can be as low as 185 rupees ($4) per month. Dharavi borders three railway lines and is near several major roads. It’s convenient connectivity and central Mumbai location, makes it a real-estate developers dream. But while some call it an embarrassing eyesore in the middle of India's financial capital, its residents call it home.

Even in the smallest of rooms, there is usually a cooking gas stove and continuous electricity. Many residents have a small color television with a cable connection. Some of them are even richer to afford a video player. Dharavi also has a large number of thriving small-scale industries that produce embroidered garments, export quality leather goods, pottery and plastic. Most of these products are made in tiny manufacturing units spread across the slum and are sold in domestic as well as international markets.

Due to its locational benefits, the state government has plans to redevelop Dharavi and transform it into a modern township, complete with proper housing and shopping complexes, hospitals and schools. It is estimated that the project will cost $2.1bn. According to the slum redevelopment plan, most Dharavi residents would be given a free, legal apartment in a modern concrete block on the same site. The Dharavi scheme is unique because it’s being driven by the private sector, not by international aid or tax-payers money. The poor would get a free home in a prime location, but the scheme allows the private companies to use the land left over from tower blocks to build shopping malls or office space, for profit.

But is this proposal acceptable to the millions of people dwelling in Dharavi?

Let’s find out from a few. Some welcome the free flats, but Aarti (who works in a tiny market stall made of corrugated stall) says she cannot earn a livelihood in a high-rise flat.

Families, who were given flats in the high rise, said they preferred their ground-level shack because it was larger than their free apartment, and because the crime rate was higher in that concrete block. Many of those who had been given a free home had sold it to middle class families and moved away. They made a sizeable profit in Mumbai, a city of sky-high property prices, but ended up moving far from the city centre.

Meera Singh, another resident of Dharavi, says, “What reason would I possess to move into a 225-square-foot (21 square meters) apartment, even if it were free? I have nearly 400 square feet (40 square meters). "Informal housing" is good for me. I receive 1,100 rupees a month from the furniture workers and another thousand from renting my basement. Why should I give this up for a seven-story apartment building where I'll be saddled with fees, including "lift" charges? I don’t like to ride in elevators. They give me jitters.”

Residents of Dharavi’s famous "Pongol Houses" object to the idea of being forced to leave the economic powerhouse of Mumbai. These men hail from distant Jharkhand state. They work on building sites and all live in this tiny room. They pay a nominal rent, and send all their money back home to their families, whom they visit for a month or two each year. As tenants, they would not receive free flats in the redevelopment scheme.

When the clock strikes 5:00 A.M., every available inch of open space seems to be converted into a toilet in Dharavi. Obviously, in a place where there is only one toilet for every few hundred people, the prospect of having one's own bathroom would seem to be a powerful selling point. But even this is not an allurement for many Dharavi locals. "What need do I have of my own toilet?" asks Nagamma Shilpiri, who came to Dharavi from Andhra Pradesh 20 years ago and now lives with her crippled father and 13 other relatives in two 150-square-foot (14 square meters) rooms. Certainly, Shilpiri is embarrassed by the lack of privacy when she squats in the early morning haze beside Mahim Creek. But the idea of a personal flush toilet offends her. To use all that water for so few people seems a stupid, even sinful, waste.

When I picture the dilapidating conditions in which millions live in Dharavi, it sends shivers down my spine. Ideally I would assume anyone to be excited about the prospect of being offered a much better and decent life. But on the contrary, people in Dharavi are strongly objecting to the upgradation they are being offered. My mind is constantly debating whether to empathize with the complacency of the socio-economic conditions of the people of Dharavi or contest the ignorance of these illiterate and poor people.

Think and let me know!!!

Freedom of Expression?

Some days back Jaya Bachchan took the liberty of expressing her desire to speak in her mother tongue (Hindi) at a film function. Little had she known the repercussions of such a move in a highly parochial country like India. The Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) protested against Jaya Bachchan’s “anti Marathi” utterances and asked her to apologize. MNS chief Raj Thackeray said, “If Jaya Bachchan wants to speak in Hindi, she better shift to Uttar Pradesh. In Maharashtra, she must learn Marathi. She should also learn to respect the sentiments of Maharashtra. I dare her to go to West Bengal and say that she loves Hindi.”

My only question for such sentiments is that isn’t Hindi supposed to be our national language? Is regional language superior to the national language? And more importantly doesn’t a person have the right to even choose a language to speak in, if he or she is in a state of some other regional language? Is our periphery of modernization and liberalization limited to just the blocks of concrete we are erecting in every part of the country? Will our thoughts and actions never rise above regionalism and individualism?

India is the largest democracy in the world. Article 19(1)(a) of the Indian Constitution, gives us the right to freedom of speech and expression. The existence of this freedom is the cornerstone of a democracy, especially in a highly mixed society like India. But unfortunately this very freedom is denied to us. How can we think of progressing into the league of developed countries when people are deprived of their basic constitutional rights?

The biggest problem lurking underneath the façade of “patriotism towards regionalism” is the hunger for publicity and ignorance of people. Interestingly, around 30% of the world’s illiterate population comes from India. The literacy rate in India is around 60% of which the majority of the literates residue in urban areas (which does not account for more than 10% of the inhabited land). The poor and ignorant are an easy target of exploitation and socialism. They just need to be brain washed and you can have an army of people ready to kill and die. And all these politicians need is such an army and one such remark which can provide fresh fodder to feed their “anti-human” campaign.

Ask yourself how justified is a person to be able to exercise the right to express himself or herself as he or she desires and then raise your opinion against what is unfair.

Discrimination against women on basis of gender at work

Talk about any kind of group; informal or formal, permanent or temporary, heterogeneous or homogeneous- they are all consequential in producing gender inequality.

There is a delicate but obvious demarcation between the official rank and the gender rank in offices. Many men have authority over women but very few women have authority over men. A man who bosses a woman is his boss on 2 counts: official rank and gender rank. A man who bosses only men or a woman who bosses only women is superior only in official rank. A woman who bosses men is superior only in official rank but unfortunately considered inferior in the other rank (gender). Moreover, a woman who bosses men finds it very difficult to gain their compliance and support. To add to her challenge, she has little leeway to commit any kind of mistake. She is constantly on parole. Her successes are viewed as coincidences, but her mistakes are taken as confirmation of incompetence, proof that there's a fraud lurking underneath. Unfortunately women cannot gain respect or acquiescence if they are anything short of being a perfectionist. And this bondage of being a perfectionist demands unrealistically high standards and sacrifices of important responsibilities from them. In the bargain, the cost women pay may be too high for them and may lead to gradual disenchantment with their work and a deadening of the real person inside.

Let’s analyze it with the help of the most common example available today. A software professional’s life. Till a computer engineer is given the initial training, males and females are all equal. But once they plunge into serious coding, their boundaries are marked. Since majority of the IT companies work on off-shore – on-shore model with strict adherence to timely deliveries, it becomes almost impossible to leave office before dinner time (sometimes rather many times the clock strikes at midnight as a reminder to pack up). It’s not difficult for bachelors to stay back late and gain kudos for the hard work they put in. But it’s not always feasible for females to sacrifice the rules of discipline at the altar of work. The result: early promotion and ticket to fly across Atlantic for the male and increasing frustration for the female.

Men and women are expected to demonstrate gender-appropriate behavior- words, mannerisms, facial expressions, tones of voices, emotions etc at all times and all places. As a result women generally face problems in leadership roles where they have to exercise their authority and bend some so called norms associated with their female status. Our society operates on the myth that “leadership” is a male-normative behavior and “following” is a female-normative behavior. As a result women are trapped in the whirlpool of conflicting ethics. They are criticized to be ruthless and incompassionate if they violate the norms associated with the status of women and are adjudged incompetent if they fail to behave like a leader.

Open the newspaper and it’s flooded with news about sexual harassment against females at work. This disgusting exploitation takes place right from the clerical level till the managerial level of work. The reason for this kind of violence is nothing but the patriarchal values and dominating attitudes of men. They are aimed at reminding females of their vulnerability and subjugated status in every field if life.

The prevailing methodology of discriminating against females on the basis of gender has a substantial effect on their work. If we want a woman to contribute towards development in an equal and healthy way, we need to discontinue the practice of pulling her down just because she was born as a female and encourage her to add value to the work with her knowledge.

Fear of the Unknown

Are you afraid of ghosts? Does the thought of witches haunt you at night? If the answer is yes, have you ever questioned yourself about why such thoughts disturb you? The answer is simple. It’s the fear of the unknown that bothers us so much that we start panicking even at the thought of it. Nobody has ever seen ghosts (at least no one has given an unequivocal first hand report till now), they have just originated out of the numerous stories we all have heard since childhood. And since they are something we haven’t seen, it’s easier to get scared by them.

And it’s not only ghosts people are afraid of. It can be anything which is unknown. Human psyche is such that we need to be sure of the thing, the person, the place, the situation we are going to face. When we are educated about the object in front of us we feel confident in tackling it. There are very few people in this world who dare to jump into the world of unknown and not get jitters.

I was going to get married to a stranger who was working in USA. I had to make up my mind to agree to this commitment knowing that I would have to live there with just my husband, sans family or friends. I was scared. I had a lot of apprehensions. USA was not my land. There was no family there. There weren’t any friends either. I was born and brought up in India and was so comfortable here because I could relate to it in numerous ways. The thought of living in an alien land sent shivers down my spine. Then, very calmly and understandingly my would-be-husband talked me out of my fears. He made me realize that it was just the unknown I was being scared of. Once I got acquainted with the place and the people, I would get as comfortable there as I was in my motherland. He had also gone to USA for studies and didn’t know anyone there. The decision then was entirely up to him. Did he want to subjugate his desire of studying in one of the best universities of the world and stay back in India or did he want to fight against his fear of the unknown, plunge into the new world and wade his way through whatever life had to offer. He assured me that he made a decision he was proud of and that I should also think wisely before regretting the choice I made. Though my mind was still juggling between yes or no, my heart told me to accept the offer. And today, I am thankful to my husband who helped me look beyond the clouds of doubt. Today, I feel very fortunate to have had the best of both worlds.

Each one of us faces such situations in life where we have to take decisions without knowing what to expect in return. We can either choose to be the frog of the well or leap outside the well into the ocean of opportunities that might be lost due to this fear of the indefinite, the unidentified. The ultimate decision is yours. Before rebuffing something just ask yourself if the plunge for the unknown would be worth your effort and then just go for it at the slightest affirmative inclination of your mind and heart.

commercialization of journalism in India

The strength and importance of media in a democracy is well recognized. Article 19(1)(a) of the Indian Constitution, which gives freedom of speech and expression includes within its ambit, freedom of press. The existence of a free, independent and powerful media is the cornerstone of a democracy, especially of a highly mixed society like India. Media is not only a medium to express once feelings, opinions and views, but it is also responsible and instrumental for building opinions and views on various topics of regional, national and international agenda. The pivotal role of the media is its ability to mobilize the thinking process of millions. But in today’s highly commercialized market, the press is losing its main focus. Journalism had deviated from the path of responsible journalism to more saleable journalism. There is more news about the “rich and the happening” rather than the poor and dying.

P. Sainath, the Magsaysay Award-winning rural affairs editor of The Hindu, at the Rajendra Mathur memorial lecture organized by the Editors’ Guild of India, says the moral universe of the India media has shifted; outrage and compassion among journalists has died. He said “You have a lot of drawing-room outrage, but not over issues that moved earlier generations of journalists. The structural shutout of the poor is evident in the way beats are organized in newspapers.”
“How many national media journalists were covering the agrarian crisis in Vidarbha? There were six. But there were 512 journalists covering the Lakme Fashion Week in Bombay.” He lamented.
“There is journalism and there is stenography; 80 per cent of journalism you are reading or viewing today is stenography. “

Some alarming figures quoted by Sainath were:
# except one TV channel and one newspaper in the whole country, not one media organization thought Union agriculture minister Sharad Pawar admission in Parliament that about 1.6 lakh farmers committed suicide between 1997 and 2007 was news.
# Mass media even failed to report the outcome of a house-to-house survey of farmers, conducted by the Maharashtra government, which revealed that 2 million farming families were in a highly distressed state
# While the media spoke about the farmers and there were panel discussion on television channels, there were no farmers or somebody who knew about farming on the panel.

Tejpal who has had a 24-year career in the media recalled the earlier times when almost every news channel had a rural reporter. “Today, the total coverage that the 250 million Dalits and tribes in India gets is less than the share given to actress Kareena Kapoor alone,” he said.

The gap between mass media and mass reality is growing at an alarming pace. Nowadays media is primarily focusing only “the elite” section of society. How much does the unforgettable tour of the Bachchans affect us? And how much would a disaster like Bihar floods affect the people? Yet, the media is more interested in focusing on what should be printed on page 3. Ask yourself, does page 3 mean more than the realities of life? Though the role and importance of media is increasing in our lives today, it’s sad that its accountability and professionalism is dwindling. “With great power comes great responsibility”. Television channels in a bid to increase their TRP ratings are resorting to sensationalized journalism with a view to earn a competitive edge over the others. Sting operations have now become the order of the day.

Journalism is losing its basic purpose of connecting to the masses. Journalists of today are forgetting that their responsibility is to report even mundane social issues in an interesting way so that they sell and not target only the glamorous and jazzy world of fashion and fame to increase their TRP’s.

pros and cons of technology

Who had thought in the age of chariots that horses would be replaced by “The Bullet” (World’s fastest train in service)? Had it not been for the Einsteins and Newtons, who are born with new names in every era, we may have been complacent farmers and hunters even today. As is popularly said “Necessity is the mother of all inventions”, welcome to the 21st Century! Here you will find that you no longer have to dial a ten digit number to call someone (Speed dialing on mobile phones saves you your precious time). Just 1 click and your letter travels across continents in 2 minutes rather than 2 weeks and you can turn your lights off without getting up from your chair. That's right folks; here in the 21st Century we have vastly advanced that crazy concept called technology. No more video cassettes or tape recorders. No more wasting your money on music or movies. With just a click of a button you can have anything your restless heart desires.

Pros: Technology has made life very comfortable for us. Cell phones, computers, even coffee makers are now so much more efficient, quick and easy to use for most people. Not denying the fact that they are also tons of fun. We've got robots vacuuming our carpets and scrubbing our floors. We have everything in our homes just a click of button away. It's really amazing how quickly technology is developing and how far it has come. Had we ever thought that a single chip would replace an entire assembly line of workers? This has helped in eliminating human errors and made work faster and more efficient (We can’t argue that this might be considered as a con since a single chip has become the cause for employment of an entire work team). There was a time when a person diagnosed as HIV positive was ostracized from the society as people thought that they would be infected too if they even touched the infected person. But thanks to the advancements in the field of medicine and health, now these people are treated with love and care and have a hope to live. New researches about human anatomy are done every day. Doctors and researchers all over the world are working hard to introduce new medicines and treatments which can cure even the deadliest of diseases. This has surely added some years to the average life span of humans.

Cons: I went to watch “Rock on” some days back. At the end of the movie it said “Don’t download the music, Buy it”. Even after that I came back, opened my laptop and within 10 minutes I had all the rock numbers I wanted. In my case it wasn’t that I couldn’t afford a CD, It was just my laziness which got the better of me. The other day I got late for my office by 2 hours. The reason: I was caught up in a jam. Why? Because someone was talking on the mobile while driving and met with a brutal accident. Hacking is the most common “sophisticated” crime nowadays. It has engulfed a major chunk of the young and talented pool of today. Every second day there is a new type of deadly software virus which we are made aware of. Modern inventions and techniques are not for everyone. It’s only a rich man’s dream to fly a personal jet with all the latest gadgets fitted in it. On microscopic level, I feel technological advances are also widening the gap between the various classes of the society. I fear that this might cause unrest amongst the underprivileged or the less privileged section of society and lead to more crimes and disparity. And how can we forget Hiroshima. Throughout most of the world, the name Hiroshima has come to represent man’s technological capacity for massive destruction. Hiroshima was the culmination of the high-altitude bombing and long-range killing that came increasingly to characterize World War II. Hiroshima opened the door upon a new world, a world in which it is possible for humanity to destroy itself by its own inventions of highly destructive weaponry. Hiroshima was the world’s first look at a technology that could destroy countries, end civilization, and foreclose a human future. What is unfortunate is that Hiroshima seems to be recreated every day with more and more scientist squandering their talent to improve weapons of mass destruction. Nuclear weapons do not discriminate. They kill innocent men, women and children. The problem is if the disillusioned and disaffected extremists of the world obtain nuclear weapons, they will use them to destroy everyone.

What we have to ask ourselves now is, as technology advances, do we slow down? Have we become victims of laziness and potential danger because of computers and cell phones? Are machines running or possibly ruining our lives?

Teach India

I had asked the guard of my building to send a maid some days back. One day the door bell rang and I saw an aged woman with a very small child, who was sucking her thumb and holding her mother’s hand, standing at my doorstep. “Yes, how can I help you?” I asked. “I was told that you are looking for a maid. This is my daughter. She is 8 years old but can manage all household chores……..” I could not believe my eyes and ears when I saw and heard what the lady was telling me. Her constant shower of praises for the work of her youngster faded in the background of my anger and disgust at the plight of our nation. I asked her if she could work instead of the little girl and her answer surprised me further. She told me that she and her other 4 daughters were already working somewhere else and only this child was available. She had not put her to work till now as she thought the girl was too young, but now with inflation in everything, it had become mandatory of her to start earning as soon as possible.

Ours is the largest democracy in the world but where do we stand as far as literacy is concerned. Interestingly, around 30% of the world’s illiterate population comes from India. The literacy rate in India is around 60% of which the majority of the literates residue in urban areas (which does not account for more than 10% of the inhabited land). Right to education is a fundamental right of every human being but unfortunately more than half the population of our country has been denied this basic right. Lack of education has resulted in growth of unemployment, poverty and a substantial increase in rate of growth of population. Why do you think the lady who came to me had to force her 8 year old to work. It’s because she herself was an illiterate. Had she been educated, she would have been able to make a wise decision of planning a family according to her financial capacity. Instead of 5 daughters (don’t know if there was a line of boys too) she would have concentrated her efforts on just 1 or 2 children, send them to school, made them capable of decent employment and gotten rid of her own poverty in due course of time. People below the poverty line don’t see more children as negligence on part of their responsibilities as parents; rather they see them as more hands to work and earn.

Most of the voters in our country are illiterate; votes of the literate people (which are already meager in number since literate Indians often choose not to vote, considering the fact that almost all candidates are illiterate and incompetent) do not affect the election process in a major way. In consequence, votes are influenced by factors such as religion and caste of the candidates, and, the nation ends up with a government made of people who are corrupt and who don’t spare a thought before accepting bribery to do something that would harm the country. Most of the politicians can’t be blamed; being illiterate themselves, they do not have the power and sensibility to make intelligent decisions.

Illiteracy has proven to be a major handicap. It has percolated through the various systems that determine India’s growth. So pathetic is the state of affairs in our country that education itself operates on corruption. Half the people on the council of information and education are illiterates themselves. The curriculums are never revised and teachers in rural areas lack the necessary qualification and knowledge required to teach. Major grants are promised by all politicians before the general elections and soon after they are elected to power, all the money promised goes into their own treasuries.

What can we, as individuals do to improve this situation. The answer is “a lot”. A small effort made by us can go a long way in improving this grave situation of our country. Many conscious efforts are made by numerous NGO’s to promote education amongst poor. The latest one is “Teach India” which has been initiated by Times of India group. Teach India is a nation-building initiative (or social initiative) from the Times of India that brings together children in need of education and people who can contribute a little time towards teaching them. It is based on one simple principle: “If you have the desire to teach, we will put you in touch with underprivileged children who are willing to learn.”

Wake up countrymen. It’s a noble cause and won’t take much effort from you. All they are asking for is a few hours from your busy schedules. I’m confident that if we all pledge to educate at least 1 person in our lifetime it will be enough to help India rise from the status on an underdeveloped nation to that of a developed nation.

When the going gets tough, The tough gets going

I started my career as the software professional with Satyam computers limited. As a fresher I had big dreams of making my mark in the company. I was ready to burn midnight oil lamps to impress my bosses. I had heard horror stories about the tough life of the software professionals but that didn’t shake my spirits. Little had I known that my happiness was very short lived. I was put under the supervision of the toughest boss on the floor. Though I tried to deliver my best, he never seemed to like my work. He would always ask me to re-do my work, sometimes all of it. He found errors in every job log that I wrote. He found my methodology of organizing my data obsolete and senseless. I felt restless and anxious around him. I would feel worn out at 9 A.M. in the morning. It was then that I decided to change my company. So after 2 years of hell I finally thought I would get a respite when I got an offer from another software company. But it was when I started working in the new team did I realize what my previous boss had done for me. In my new job, everyone thought I was a very meticulous person who delivered her project right on time and with minimal errors. My boss and the entire team was very happy and impressed with my performance. I had been grilled so much by my previous boss that subconsciously I was still trying to be extra careful in delivering my work. As a result I ended up committing very minimal mistakes. Till date I thank my first supervisor because he turned out to be the best teacher in disguise of a very stubborn and tough person. Based on my experiences I can list out some tips which might help you to deal with tough instructors.

1. Be rational: Don’t categorize your instructor as a toughie if he is stricter than you expected. Try and analyze if your reasons are valid. Think objectively to avoid falling into the trap of disliking your instructor for the wrong reasons.

2. Be respectful: No matter how much you dislike your boss, never forget your mannerism and code of conduct. Remember he still is your mentor, someone with more experience and knowledge and it’s your moral obligation to show respect to him. Never get into loggerhead with your instructor or bad-mouth him.

3. Be positive: Always remember that no matter how difficult your instructor is, he is not a permanent figure in your life. He is just a temporary discomfort which would become history once you move ahead in life. Try not to give him a reason to remember you with ill feelings.

4. Be prepared: Always keep yourself updated and ready for whatever questions he might have for you. Be ready by preparing your work well in advance. This would help you to gain respect from your boss.

5. Make judicious use of the extra time: Whatever extra time you get, try and make the best use of it by getting your doubts cleared by your boss. Going the extra mile will communicate to your instructor that you take your work seriously and will leave a lasting good impression on him.

Communication Skills

I still remember the state of my mind very vividly, when I had stepped onto the podium of my school auditorium to present my science paper for the first time. I was very nervous when I saw a swarm of people in front of me. Hundreds of eyes were focused on me and I could not decide which way to look to avoid them. I wanted to run away and hide myself. But nothing could be done then. My name had already been announced and the stage has been cleared for me. Then my mother’s voice rang in my ears. I thank her for knowing me so well, for she had already given me the ‘brahmastra’ to win that battle.

Before going to school that day, my mother had prepared a good breakfast for me as she advised me not to go for any important meeting, interview or exam, empty stomach. She said it just increased anxiety. On the other hand if your stomach is full, you feel more calm and relaxed. Then she made me take blessings from almighty because he was the only one who would be there with me on the stage. Then she sat me down and told me the following rules to develop good communication skills.

1. Be confident: If you are sure of yourself, then half the battle is already won. Be confident that you have adequate knowledge on the topic you are going to address and nothing would go wrong because if your information on the topic is correct then no one can counter it or negate it. Your gait, your body posture, your expressions, your style of talking; everything reflects your confidence level. It can easily let the other person sneak into your thoughts and gauge your knowledge.

2. Relax: Remember that the person you are talking to is a person like you. He may be as nervous as you are. You have to relax yourself first to let the other person relax in your presence. If you keep feeling anxious, you will never be able to break the ice and carry the conversation forward. The other person will certainly appreciate your initiation of relaxing. You may bring out the best in the other person when you calm down.

3. Don’t beat around the bush: When you start a conversation with an unknown person, focus on the main topic first. The person you are talking to does not have any idea of who you are or what your likes and dislikes are. He only knows you because of the work you are about to discuss with him. So save the personal information like hobbies, background etc for later, when you both are more comfortable with each other. This will help you make things more predictable and less nerve wrecking. When you make your conversation predictable, you can start making constructs and strategies on how to handle the conversation. When you have an idea on how to handle something, your nerves are managed better.

4. Do not lie: The worse communicator is the one who lies or makes up stories to prove his point. If you are nervous and you lie, things get compounded. Not only do you look silly in front of the other person, you also lose his faith and your integrity. The other person would lose all interest in talking to you if he gets the slightest hint that you are lying and it would sabotage your relationship with him forever.

What love means

The saying "opposites attract" is definitely true in many cases. Perhaps it's the diversity of difference that creates the initial attraction - the other person has things (traits, etc.) that you don't, and vice versa. Some people find the differences exciting. In the short term relationship, you may be able to work around these issues, but what about in the long run? When you want to go to a party with him, and he doesn't want to go, how will you feel going alone? When a romantic movie comes out that you want to see opening day in the theater, and he wants to see a horror one instead! What will you do? Go alone? Split up to see different films? There can definitely be long term consequences when a person has strong negative opinions about something you like to do or are obliged to do.

Let’s analyze the example of this 26 year old man who is the only child of his parents. He recently got married to his fiancée of seven years. His problem is that his wife (not big not socializing) doesn’t like his parents much (mainly because his father is of a “grouchy” nature and they speak little English) and feels uncomfortable around them. This is creating awkwardness in their relationship as he expects his wife to be supportive of him and accompany him to visit his parents at least once a month. Ask yourself if he is asking too much from his wife by expecting her to accept his parents? Dr. Gail say’s “Spouses should do things for each other that they don’t want to do, just because they love each other”. I personally agree with her because only if a person is ready to accommodate the likings of his/her spouse, can there be mutual respect and love amongst them, which is the key to a successful and happy marriage. In this case, the wife should realize how bad she would feel if her husband behaved in the same way with her parents. She should also realize that a marriage doesn’t mean merely living together; it means building a family together. And a family is always incomplete without parents. It’s important that the wife understands what love means: It means always being there for your partner and supporting him/her through thick and thin. Love means not complicating life but complimenting it for each other. The husband could try and communicate these feelings in a subtle and mature way without giving ultimatums to his wife. He can try to make her realize that in future her own son’s wife can behave the same way with her. How would she feel then? He can try to bridge the gap between his wife and his parents by converting a full day trip to a lunch or dinner meeting so that she can slowly gel into the family. He can plan the visit around an activity like watching a video or going for a walk, which would give her something else to focus on.

The way you communicate with each other, is the key as to how your relationship will work. Stubbornness in a relationship can bring about disastrous results. Being open, and open-minded, with a strong ability from both people to compromise, and adjust, can create an environment of security and contentment. Not having these abilities could create potential conflict leading to a bitter breakups, and harsh feelings.

Getting rid of self-egoism and giving in to a sense of mutual understanding and cooperation based on some adjustments is what love is all about in a relationship.

Teacher's day

Today is teacher’s day. A day to celebrate the essence of a guru, a day to salute the person who helps shape our thoughts and personality, a day to remember all the teachers who have guided us on the path of righteousness. If I’m told to pick out one teacher whom I’ll like to thank today, I would pick my mother. She started my education much before any other teacher came into my life. She may not have taught me science and mathematics, rather she imbibed in me the morals and principles which have helped me wade through the tough journey of life.

She is the epitome of courage and endurance. After studying in a low class Hindi medium school, she was left at the mercy of mocking seniors of an English medium college. Nonetheless, her determination and sincere hard work took her past all ordeals and she emerged a winner as a distinction holder in English in her college. This phase of her life always inspires me to fight all odds with valor and reinstates my faith that diligence and hark work always pays in the end.

Her struggles didn’t end there. Having being born and brought up in Calcutta, it was quite hard for her initially to adjust to the slow pace of life in a much smaller city. But her optimism, zest and amicability helped her carve an esteemed position in the family as well as the society in the city. My life seems to be a replica of hers in this phase of life. Right after my marriage I went to Chicago with my husband. There, I was all alone with just one person sans family and friends. Though my husband was extra cautious and understanding due to my occasional loneliness, my desire to go back to my land never subdued. It was then that my mother reminded me of her struggle and combat. Her experiences helped me expand and grow in a land which was once alien to me. I stayed there for 2 years, managed to get a very good job and a decent friend circle.
There isn’t a single day when I don’t thank God for blessing me with a mother like her because I have learned a lot from her at every stage of my life. I believe I could not have a better example of hardships, struggles and success and could not have been luckier to have a mother who is there to tirelessly and selflessly guide me through every phase of life. She is in every sense my ‘True Guru’.

Everyone has at least one ideal in their life, whom they follow and worship. Let’s take out some time from our busy schedules to thank that person today. It would take just a few minutes of your time to make that phone call or walk those few steps, but it would brighten up someone’s day to know that you care for them and that you remembered them for what they mean to you – your Teacher.

female foeticide

I am a female and my heart aches when I hear of female foeticide cases. What is most saddening is that it’s the females themselves (especially the mother-in-laws) who encourage such horrendous acts. It’s beyond comprehension as to why do they forget that they themselves are females and it’s only a female who can give birth to that the male they desire so much. In India, soon after marriage the pressure to produce a child starts mounting. And the pressure is not only for any child, it’s for a ‘boy’. And soon after the ‘bahu’ gives the ‘good news’, everyone starts praying endlessly for a male child. The mother-to-be is made to do so many puja’s, eat so many types of things, and visit so many different pundits so that she bears nothing but a boy. She is looked upon with raised eyebrows and declared impudent if she happens to reveal her desire of having a girl child. Mother’s won’t allow their pregnant daughters to put up posters of cute girl children (in fear that it might change the gender of the baby in the womb). A friend of mine recently gave birth to a girl for the second time and the first reaction everyone had was “Don’t worry, it’s alright”. Its strange how a “Congratulations! I’m so happy for you” suddenly changes into a condolence as if some calamity had taken place.

The root cause of this is ignorance of people, lack of education and low status of women in society. The status of women in a society can be determined by their education, health, economic role, presence in the professions and management, and decision-making power within the family. It is deeply influenced by the beliefs and values of society. Islam permits polygamy and gives women fewer rights than men. Among Hindus, preference for the male child is likewise deeply enshrined in belief and practice. Hinduism represent the ideal woman as obedient and submissive, and always needing the care of a male: first father, then husband, then son.

The birth of a son is regarded as essential in Hinduism and many prayers and lavish offerings are made in temples in the hope of having a male child. Modern medical technology is used in the service of this religion-driven devaluing of women and girls.

Religion operates alongside other cultural and economic factors in lowering the status of women. The need for a dowry for girl children, and the ability to demand a dowry for boys exerts considerable economic pressure on families to use any means to avoid having girls, who are seen as a liability. For a poor family, the birth of a girl child can signal the beginning of financial ruin and extreme hardship.

What people need to realize now is that if given a chance, women can do as brilliantly as men in any sphere of life. She can be a wife, a mother and a professional all at one time, and she can manage all the chores with equal proficiency. When God created this universe, he didn’t create an inferior or a superior being. He simply created a male and a female who had to undertake the journey of life together, walking hand in hand, not one following the other. Let’s not destroy the delicate balance created by him by obliterating the very source of life’s origin.

An intellectual survival of women

According to 1980 United Nations figures, women constitute one-half of the world's population and do two-thirds of the work but earn one-tenth of the income and own only one one-hundredth of the property; two-thirds of women are illiterate.

The debate over whether there is a role for women in science and engineering has been going on for centuries. For centuries girls and women in the world are faced with a daunting array of internal and external obstacles to careers in science. There is a stark gender imbalance as far as science and technology are concerned. Researchers have outlined the following psychological, cultural and economic barriers that keep women away from the sciences.

Merely saying that brains are different because he went hunting with a club while she stayed home and swept the cave isn’t enough because it’s not only man and woman who are different from each other, rather every human being is unique in his own way. A common myth prevalent in the society is that science is impersonal and that is attributed to be the chief deterrent for women because of their sensitivity, their language, their childbearing and child rearing, their anger and compassion. But what is seen as their weakness is actually their greatest strength.
Another psychological aspect is the pattern on which the science schools work. In most of the cases the system breeds workaholism and can lead to burnout and women may be even more susceptible to workaholic burnout if they have perfectionist tendencies. A perfectionist has an unrealistically high standard to meet and will sacrifice important responsibilities to meet that standard. The cost a woman pays may be too high for her and may lead to gradual disenchantment with her work and a deadening of the real person inside. Furthermore, the perfectionist's sense of identity and self-worth is tied to how she measures up to that standard. She is constantly on parole. Her successes are viewed as coincidences, but her mistakes are taken as confirmation of incompetence, proof that there's a fraud lurking underneath.

Another major concern is a lack of role models and of female teaching staff in departments, as well as too few women at the top. With no examples to follow the fire is never ignited inside a woman’s soul to gauge her intellectual capabilities to the fullest.

Women who pursue engineering are marginalized by a professional culture that, due to the predominance of men in the work-place, continues to be fundamentally masculine. The result is that, in the male-dominated scientific culture, "a male style of interaction prevails. Women fail to understand the unwritten rules of conduct and as a result, fail to effectively promote their strengths." Even if a woman wades through the adversities and tries to make her mark, she is slowed down both by nature and society. Women, who take maternity leave, often find themselves shunted into more of an admin role through lack of visible progress with research. If a family has a boy and girl, the preference of higher studies will always be given to the male while a woman is pushed into the traditional poses of mother, wife and housekeeper.

When God created this universe, he did not create a superior or an inferior race. So why should we demarcate humanity on the basis of gender. Women are equally capable of exhibiting excellence and brilliance in the fields of science and technology as men. So, let’s all of us try to erase this gender imbalance in science and technology so that we can have more brains working towards human development.