how to communicate with teen's

Technically, adolescence is a stage of transition in physical and mental human development that occurs between childhood and adulthood. This transition involves biological (i.e. pubertal), social, and psychological changes and is often referred to as a tough time both for the teenager and the parents. The confusion of being in middle of childhood and adulthood is what makes this stage very challenging and difficult. A teenager is neither too young to be shunned of all responsibilities nor is too old to be expected to behave in a mature manner. This perplexity in expectations builds the bridge of lack of communication between the teenager and the parents. But the question is whether the cold war can end? Can the ice be broken? How can you open lines of communication with your teenager?
I believe that the root cause for mostly all communication problems lies in implied statements that are not fully communicated between parents and adolescents. For example: parent: can you take out the trash?
Teen: ok
One hour later
Parent: I told you to take out the trash.
Teen: you didn’t say it had to be done now itself.
The parent felt the teen should have known they meant now.
Similarly there are numerous instances when teens feel that the parents should have known what they meant. These conversations can cause a lot of frustration and lead to unnecessary tension. The most important step in communicating with teens is the knowledge of effective communication. Effective communication is basically the exchange of thoughts, ideas and information using both verbal and nonverbal cues in such a way that each person understands and can act on what has been communicated in a way that seems appropriate and favorable. If parents communicate effectively with their teens, teenagers are able to trust their parents more which helps in better and firmer foundation of their growth. They feel that their parents are actively listening (and not merely hearing), which shows that their concerns are being heard. This makes them realize that their thoughts, ideas and feelings matter to their parents. Try giving your teen your full attention because if you take out time to listen to them, there is high probability that they will listen to you in return.
Try to let your teen express himself or herself because expressing one’s feeling is a very healthy thing. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to agree with all your teen’s feelings; this simply means that you acknowledge his/her feelings. If you cut short your teen’s conversation by statements like “I don’t want to hear this kind of talk again”, they will never be able to open up to you. Again, the key word is listening and not merely hearing.
The next step could be to educate your teens’ that every action they do has a consequence. Parents tend to punish their teens by taking away something the adolescent enjoys; for example, no TV for a week. Let’s analyze a situation for this. You tell your teen to do some household chores but the teen leaves without doing them. Instead of criticizing him or punishing him by not letting him watch TV for 2 days, you could make your teen do your chores as well as you had to do his chores for him. Actions will speak louder than words if you let your teen experience the natural consequence of his actions. It will also make them realize that they will be held accountable for what they do. Your teens will get more privileges as they grow older but it is very important for them to realize that extra freedom comes with more responsibilities.
Don’t criticize your teen’s actions. Try taking the positive approach. Instead of pointing out what's wrong with your teen’s actions, try describing what is right and then what still needs to be done. A little encouragement from you will go a long way in strengthening your relationship with your teen. Alvin price has rightfully quoted: "Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes in it to drain it dry."
Find some time to spend with your teen by indulging yourself in some common activity. This will help him open up to you as it will give you common topics to talk about.
Adolescence is tough on both parents and teenagers. But for once try and put yourself in your teen’s shoes and remember that you were also a teen once and you must have faced the same problems then.